Writing sucks (or at least the act of writing does), but I keep doing it anyway.
Didn’t the writer Dorothy Parker once say, “I hate writing, I love having written”?
She’s a total kindred spirit.
Writing is painful and torturous, but if you are like me, and Parker, you understand the bizarre satisfaction and joy of having written, of having produced words that somehow bring shape to your thoughts and help you build a more solid identity in this sometimes fluid world, in which we are so often lost.
Somehow, writing makes me feel more like a person. Or maybe I am already a person, but now I feel like I have told my story, and therefore I am better connected to the larger world outside of me.
In other words, I feel less alone.
Ever since I started writing regularly on my blog, I have also had a few friends come up to me telling me about how they too would love to start writing or to write more.
I do think there is something visceral about writing that draws a certain group of people irresistibly to it. And there’s no denying that in many people, there is this deep need to at least make some kind of noise, so that the world knows of their existence, and then they can feel like they have lived as a main character in this bizarre story of life instead of having just floated past, like a ghost.
I am of course talking about myself.
Crucially, I also have come to see how necessary writing has become in my growth as both a creative and a human being.
And despite the self-doubt (do my thoughts matter?) and the insecurity (who is even reading this?) and the lack of confidence (maybe I should leave the writing to people who are smarter than me!), I feel more and more certain that writing is something I need to do.
And certainly, starting to write regularly has been one of the best things I have done for myself in 2017.
Not only that, I have a strong feeling that writing consistently will pay off in more ways than I can imagine. How, I have no idea yet.
For now, I soldier on.
During my short blogging hiatus recently, I have had a lot of time to rethink my reasons for writing. Here are some of them.